How to find slowness as an introvert in a fast paced world
Life these days is extremely fast paced, and for many people, it feels good to always be doing something - striving for more, pushing the boundaries.
But for those of us who feel things more deeply, that pace can quickly become overwhelming rather than fulfilling
This year, I’ve found myself leaning in more than ever to my introverted nature and my desire to slow down. As an INFJ personality type, I’ve always been drawn to quieter spaces, deeper connection and a slower way of being.
For a long time, I thought this was something I needed to grow out of - but I’ve come to realise that many women feel this same quiet resistance to the pace of modern life.
This year especially (maybe because it’s the year of the horse) I’ve noticed myself shifting my perspective on being someone who has a softer nature. I no longer see it as something I need to “fix” or work on - in fact, it’s been the biggest advantage to me in growing my gentle business which I talk more about here.
So in this writing, I’d like to share with you a few of the simple changes I’ve been making to embrace slowness in the midst of chaos…
Starting the Day Gently
My morning routine is my favourite part of my day. It hasn’t always been as back when I was trying to copy 5am productivity focused routines, I struggled massively and would always quit.
It wasn’t until I changed my perspective on what a morning routine is really for (especially in terms of supporting our stress hormones) that things started to click.
I think a lot of us have been taught to approach mornings from a productivity mindset, rather than asking what our body actually needs.
For me, the sole purpose of my morning routine is to create a buffer between being asleep and taking on whatever the day has in store. That means, it’s a time when I choose to take things very slowly, let myself wake up gently and stay disconnected from the world.
I don’t want my routine to feel like another to-do list I’m getting up for, so I keep it really simple. What I love is this:
An early morning dog walk - 10 minutes of stretching/yoga/pilates - a herbal tea with a cosy blanket and good book.
That’s it. Then I get myself ready for the day.
The simplicity of this routine makes it easy to keep up, even on low energy days and so it works like an anchor for me every morning, that this is how my day starts - no scrolling, no news, no rushing around. Even when my day ahead is busy and full on, that gentle start always sets me up to handle whatever comes my way from a more calm, grounded state.
Going Analog
Recently, it’s been a bit of a trend that more and more people are “going analog” and spending time away from screens. It’s not always an easy habit to break I’ll admit but I think if you are someone who is more sensitive, introverted or craves a slower paced life then embracing other pastimes makes a huge difference.
Personally, I notice such a difference in my mental state on days where I’ve been sucked into a scroll hole versus days where I’ve spent more time offline.
And from what I’ve seen, this tends to affect more sensitive or introspective people even more deeply.
Of course, we know that staring at a screen for hours isn’t good for our wellbeing for many reasons but I also think for those of us who are more sensitive, it’s often difficult to avoid being faced with content that can impact us negatively too. I don’t know how many times I've been scrolling on Youtube and then come across a video that’s really upset me and it stays with me all day long.
Instead, I am trying to limit the time that I spend on my phone or watching tv (I watch one episode of something per night and limit phone time to over lunch and that’s it) and lean into things that bring me joy and peace. Right now, I’m learning to crochet and I’m also redecorating my living room slowly.
I think it’s so important for us as sensitive souls to be able to switch off from what everyone else is doing and allow our brain the chance to slow down as well.
Challenging Competitiveness
For me, this has been huge and it’s still very much an ongoing process to de-condition myself from this mindset. As a child, I was always encouraged to be the best at things - school, sports, creative hobbies. I realised as I grew up, that when I was the best at something, it came with a lot of praise, validation and positive attention. It made me feel valued.
And the opposite is true as well, when I didn’t end up on top, I felt like I’d failed and I struggled with the feeling of disappointment in myself.
But what I’ve noticed over the past few years is that this determination to be the best or finish first existed in all areas of my life, subconsciously. Even in things like driving or work - I’d find myself trying to pull away faster than the car beside me or feeling irritated if someone else received recognition over me.
As a result, I was living very much in a masculine energy state and doing whatever it took to prove myself - arriving first, leaving last, working more, always saying yes, never taking time off. I didn’t even realise this pattern for many years because it was just so automatic.
Now, I’ve gotten much better at staying focused on my own journey and what’s best for me. Even if it means someone drives off faster, ranks higher, moves up the ladder first, achieves more.
Learning to bring my attention back to myself has been a game changer for my internal peace (and for realising what actually makes me happy!). The more I stay tuned in to what makes me feel good, the less I feel the need to compare to anyone else.
Working to shift this mindset has allowed me to let go of hurry and staying ahead and has created so much space and permission for me to move at my own pace. I think many of us find ourselves caught up in this competitive, comparison based way of being so I would highly encourage you to reflect on your own experience with this and recognise where you can choose to disconnect from striving too.
A Few Other Tiny Habits I’m Doing:
Listening to meditation music or a calming podcast on the train whilst looking out the window
Decluttering my home and only keeping what truly brings me joy
Curating the content I do see around slow living, INFJ creators, analog hobbies etc.
Closing Thoughts
Choosing to slow down and lean into your desire for more space and less stress is an ongoing practice but it’s one that can genuinely change how you experience your life every single day.
In my experience, it’s not about doing everything differently overnight, but about gently creating more space where you can.
If you resonated with this post, then I think you’ll love the direction that I’m gently curating this space to be. Leave me a note below and let me know what steps you are taking to embrace more slow in your life💚